Aching Hearts & Feeling Numb…

The doctor’s words had a numbing effect. I looked at Charlotte, she smiled in a comforting way and asked the Doctor several questions. I looked at Renée. She was frozen, her eyes wide as she grappled with this new information. My heart ached for her. I knew what she must be feeling, because I felt it too. I am sure any parent can understand our turmoil.

This was really happening!

“I am recommending we do some more testing,” the doctor said hopefully, sensing the impact of his words, “…there’s a new type of brain x-ray called a ‘CAT Scan.’ 

It means ‘computerized axial tomography.’ It is completely painless and quick and maybe it will give us a clue, as far as what we are dealing with…” his voice trailed off.

I looked at Renée, and as our eyes met, I could see the shock and pain on her face.

“Okay.” I said, “Let’s do it as soon as possible!”

On the ‘Learning Curve…’ 

We needed to do something, I thought. Anything and everything!

We gathered Jessica up in awkward silence, and after a few polite thank you’s we headed home. I dropped everyone off at home and headed straight for the library.

I was feeling a little dizzy with all of this. ‘EEG’s, ‘brain seizures,’ ‘CAT scans.’

I needed to know what we were up against.

‘What were brain ‘seizures?’

‘What were the implications of a child with ‘brain seizures?’ 

I had to have some answers.

We had learned so much in our crash course in neurology, but I sensed  an overpowering storm of new challenges. It was hard to know where to start. So that is why I turned to the ‘Library’ to try to come to grips with everything. I wanted to make the fear of the unknown go away if I could.

As I looked in the ‘subject index’ in the card catalog at our local library under ‘seizures,’ a familiar name popped up.

‘Dr. James Dobson.’

Apparently, before he began to write and teach about Christian-based child rearing, Dr. Dobson, who is a clinical psychologist, had co-authored a book on mental retardation, with a section on ‘Seizures and Epilepsy.’ I was comforted by seeing his name. A name I knew and trusted. I found the book and began to read.

The marathon was beginning for real, and I could see no end …no end in sight.

Next Week: “Dark Clouds on the Horizon.”

I will continue to share the answers to the question “What happened to Jessica?” every Monday in the weeks ahead. When I have received sufficient feedback and questions, I will add a Thursday episode, as needed, to this blog, focused on answering your questions and comments.

Thanks for your interest.

Jim, Renee & Jessica