Did We Miss the On-Ramp?

It was August 25, 1978, my wife’s 34th birthday when our baby girl was born. The next day we decided on her name.

‘Baby Walker’ became ‘Jessica Elizabeth Walker’. Our baby had a name! We had chosen ‘Jessica,’ it meant ‘blessed one’. Her middle name was chosen after my mother’s middle name. We found out later the meaning of the name, ‘consecrated to God.’

My last name ‘Walker’ comes from the root of ‘forester’ or more precisely, ‘one who walks among the forest,’ and so putting it all together, our baby girl would be…

‘Blessed one… consecrated to God… who walks among the forest.’ How could anyone not succeed with a name like that?

We had no idea at that time, how meaningful and comforting the deeper meaning of the names we had chosen so lightheartedly that day would be to us and to many others, as the years rolled by, but for now Jessica ‘the blessed one’ was here. We looked forward to the days ahead and getting our lives back on ‘cruise control.’ Something, that unfortunately would never really happen again. We were headed down a different road.

Shock and Tears.

The next day the phone in my office rang.

It was the morning of the day that Jessica would be coming home from the hospital. I had gone in early that day to finish an urgent project so that I could take off work that afternoon and spend the rest of the day at home with Renée and Jamie and Jon and of course Jessica. It would be our first evening together as an ‘expanded’ family. Jessica and her proud little mother were coming home at last.

Everything was in place and waiting: a pretty little crib, sweet little baby blankets and a slew of new toys of every description, not to mention a breathlessly expectant, big brother and sister.

All things were now ready. Excitement was in the air, because today was the big day!

Pre-occupied with my work, I picked up the receiver and mumbled “Hello?” no answer.

“HELLO!” still no answer.

I started to hang up, but at the last instant, I heard something. It sounded like a sobbing… a gasping and then more crying.

A bolt of emotion shot through my heart! “Renée?” no answer…

“Renée is that you?”

“Jessica can’t come home with me,” my wife gasped between sobs, “…she has to stay in the hospital!” then she moaned, I could hear her sobbing and I knew she was crying. I had never heard her so completely despondent.

She sounded heartbroken.

Shocked and Dazed.

My mind was whirling! Suddenly without warning, a cloud of doubt and uncertainty was casting a very big shadow across our lives. Images of Jessica, backed up by Renée’s sobbing, filled my mind.

‘What was happening?’

‘What had gone wrong?’

‘Why had this come about?’

Next Week: ‘A Mystery Appears.’

I will continue to share the answers to the question “What happened to Jessica?” every Monday in the weeks ahead. When I have received sufficient feedback and questions, I will add a Thursday episode, as needed, to this blog, focused on answering your questions and comments.

Thanks for your interest.

Jim, Renee & Jessica